Adversity is a troubling situation, misfortune, hardship, or calamity. When adversity happens, it’s like standing next to an erupting volcano. It can feel scary, terrifying, and life threatening. When was the last time you had to deal with adversity? Today? Yesterday? Last week?
Adversity is inevitable. It’s a fact of life and it happens to everyone. After the eruption, the lava begins to slow down and becomes hard, cold, and lifeless. In the same way, we can get stuck in adversity unless we learn how to handle it.
When we can overcome the negativity of adversity and see the positive effects, then we become more resilient. Resilience is the ability to cope mentally and emotionally with a crisis.
Overcoming adversity and becoming resilient is a process. It takes patience, practice, perseverance, and conscious awareness. It takes making good choices and using the right tools. Here are some tools you can use.
1. Stop blaming yourself or others. Stop seeing yourself as a victim.
As long as you feel like you are a victim, and you are either blaming yourself or other people, then you will be stuck. The first step in overcoming adversity is to stop blaming yourself and stop blaming other people. After the initial pain of the adversity subsides, let go of the blame so that you can move forward.
2. Acknowledge what happened. Accept what is.
The second step to overcoming adversity is to simply acknowledge what happened instead of being in denial about it. Replace the thoughts of “If only that hadn’t happened” with “OK, it happened. Sometimes bad things happen. I get it. I see that.”
Accepting what is doesn’t mean you don’t feel the pain, it just means that you stop trying to push the adversity away. It happened. It’s here. It’s in my life, and I need to deal with it instead of pretending or wishing it wasn’t there.
3. Instead of reacting emotionally to adversity, consciously choose how you want to respond.
When we are in a state of reacting emotionally, we have no control over ourselves or over the situation. The situation is controlling us. When we consciously choose how we want to respond, then we have control over the situation.
To be able to consciously choose your response instead of unconsciously reacting, you need to become aware of your negative thoughts. The third step in overcoming adversity and becoming resilient is to change your negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones.
In the same way you delete words on your computer, you can delete unwanted thoughts in your mind. If the thought is not helpful, then tell yourself “Cancel. Delete. Not helpful.” Just hit your mental delete key to make the thoughts go away.
Now replace the thoughts you deleted with thoughts of what you want to have more of in your life. It’s very important to focus and direct your attention to what you want and turn away from what you don’t want.
Tell yourself “What I want more of is _____” and fill in the blank even if it looks like it’s difficult or impossible. When you replace negative and unhelpful thoughts with positive and helpful thoughts of what you want more of, your feelings will change, your actions will change, and your life will change.
4. Nurture your body, mind, and spirit.
If you don’t take care of you, you won’t be able to overcome adversity. Eat healthy food. Exercise. Spend time in nature. Surround yourself with positive people. Make a plan. Make a schedule. Do good things for yourself. It’s not that hard. You just have to make up your mind and do it.
When you feel stressed out and are in pain, find a way to smile anyway. Smile at the difficulty or the absurdity of it all. Laugh at the adversity and it will melt away. When you can smile and laugh then you are well on your way to overcoming adversity and becoming resilient. You will feel lighter, happier, and more peaceful. You will make better choices, take positive action, and get different results.
5. Call on your Higher Power.
Whatever you consider your Higher Power to be, remember that you are not alone. No matter how down or dark you may feel, know that there is a benevolent and loving spirit that permeates all life.
When you seek and call out for help it will be there for you. Letting go and asking for help from a higher entity or spirit can move mountains. To do this, be still and quiet. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Then focus on what you want as if it is already happening. Remember your goals and dreams. Remember the things that are important to you.
Planting New Seeds
When you focus on what’s good about the situation, have gratitude for everything in your life, and vividly imagine what you want, it is as if you have planted seeds underneath the hard, cold, dry lava.
Miraculously, the seeds begin to sprout and push their way through the lava. Lush plants grow and flowers blossom. Soon your life will become a paradise.
Like the seeds pushing through the lava, you too can leave your difficult situation. Within adversity there is the opportunity to learn, grow, and become strong. Being resilient will help you shine in greatness.
Believe in yourself. Reach for the light of a new, wonderful Life. May you have a fabulous new year!
Aloha, Annabel
